I hear it from women all the time. “I get along better with guys. Women are bitches.” This can be true to an extent. Like if you’re so drop-dead beautiful that all women are intimidated by you. But most of the time, no. Most of the time when I hear this from women, I know why:
No one wants to hear how hot everyone thinks you are. Your girlfriends don’t give a shit. So a guy messaged you. So what? You were hit on in a bar. Who isn’t? The fact that you have to share every flirtation, every message, and every drunken encounter gets old. It gets old really fast. It’s not that we’re intimidated, it’s just that we’re sick of hearing it. Who wants to be friends with someone that’s blowing sunshine up their own ass all the time? To me, that shows insecurity and the desperate need for validation. You don’t need a friendship. You need an audience.
If some random person flirts with me, fine. If someone messages me and says I’m cute, fine. I don’t feel the need to tell everyone, because I know that no one really gives a shit. And I don’t need validation from anyone. Because frankly, I don’t give a shit either. Attention is nice, but I no longer need it to feel good.
Hearing over and over again, “He thinks I’m hot” is not a way to get female friends. It’s not an insecurity thing, it’s a tolerance thing. It’s cute for maybe a minute. After that, it’s annoying. Get over your ego and invite some girlfriends into your life. As equals. It’s nice here. You’re no hotter than anyone else.
I’ve worked many different jobs and I’ve encountered many different people in my forty-one years. There were a lot of older people I knew that were my coworkers and employers, and they were headstrong and stuck in their ways, and it was horrible to know them, let alone work with them. I’m one of those older ones now, and I can honestly and happily say that I’m not like them. I can take criticism before it even comes to me. I already know what I need to fix. I’m very self-aware, and I’m proud of that. It’s taken me much soul-searching to get to this place.
I work with those younger than me, and instead of me preaching at them, they are preaching at me. Not in words all the time, but in actions. Tattle tailing, talking behind my back, the usual stuff you’d expect in a workplace. But I’ve had it.
I’m older than them. Yet I don’t feel I know more, nor am I wiser than they are. I’ve welcomed them as my friends. I’ve shared things with them. I’ve respected them. I’d never preach about how things should be done or how I know better. Because I don’t. Yet, they still think they know better. And they try to prove it.
I handle things differently. In life and at work. I’ve been through too much to be able to put on an act all the time. I don’t kiss anyone’s ass. It’s impossible for me. Just because I don’t handle things like everyone else, doesn’t make me wrong. It makes me real. I’ll never fake a personality to gain clients, to gain respect, or to gain money. That’s just how it is. This may keep me behind the rest, but that’s fine. I’m ok with that.
What I would like is to have the freedom to be who I am. At work, in life, wherever. Just because I don’t act like you, doesn’t make me wrong. And I’d never try to keep you from being you. That’s respect. I give it, and now I’d like to get it.