A new year. A new me?

So, it’s 2015. A new year. For some, it’s a time to make resolutions. That’s very ambitious of you, but speaking from experience, those resolutions are usually hard to live up to.

I see them. “I’m going to work out 5 times a week,” sort of things. I’ve made those resolutions myself. If you can do that, great. Most of us can’t live up to those things. I learned this the hard way.

Every year, as soon as the clock stuck 12, I was going to be a new person. I was going to workout everyday. I was going to meditate everyday. I was going to be less sensitive. More outgoing. I was going to quit smoking/drinking/complaining. But year after year, I failed.

Then finally it hit me. Why do I have to change everything I am on this one day? I don’t, and I can’t. I learned it’s almost impossible to change every single thing at once. So I stopped making New Years resolutions. I mean, it’s nice to make a new year a clean slate for things, but I’ve accepted the fact that I’m human, and some ingrained behaviors and beliefs aren’t going to go away at midnight on New Year’s Day. I’ve set myself up for failure way too many times, and I’m over it. Failed resolutions are self inflicted pain. I’ve decided to go easier on myself this year. Exercise more, meditate more, eat better, and care for myself. It feels so much better than exercise 5 days a week, meditate everyday, eat salads all the time..blah blah blah.

I’m accepting things about myself that won’t change. Like my inability to workout 5 times a week. Please. That’s not going to happen at will. And I’m not instantly going to change how I react to things. I’m sensitive, I feel things. I’m easily annoyed. These are personality traits that cannot be changed by a simple resolution, and I’m finally ok with it. They may not be ideal, but they are a part of who I am, and I can’t rid myself of these things so quickly. Or at all. And why would I want to?

So basically, I’ve given up on resolutions. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that nothing about me is so horrible that I have to fix it right away. I’ve made it this far, and I’m still somewhat sane, so I must be doing something right. I’m going to set goals for myself, and take it a day at a time. It may be a new year, but there are no rules. I can try to do my best, and I can start over whenever I want.

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