I’m sexy, but not for you

It seems there are so many topics to be addressed these days, mostly for women.

I remember when I was growing up, I craved to have my own style. I wasn’t allowed to. I’d dress for school, and my mom would say, “you have to be careful of the messages you send.” I scoffed at this, and when I was out of the house, the red lipstick would be applied, and my neckline would be lowered, and I went about my day. I got attention. Creepy guys at the mall, kids at school, I’d get looks, and since I was an insecure kid, I took horrible comments as a compliment. Oh they think I’m pretty! This is good! “Hey baby, nice ass,” was a good thing to someone like me.

Even though I was told, “you need to be careful of the messages you send,” I was never taught why, and I was never taught to love myself without male attention. I guess that’s what that statement meant. Maybe. I don’t know. I just saw it as an excuse for me not to be who I was. I liked being pretty, I liked showing that. But it came with consequences. As a teen and a young adult, the negative attention was welcomed. I craved it. I didn’t care where it came from. It was attention.

Now that I’m older, I still dress how I want. A little cleavage is fine, red lipstick, a must. But I don’t crave that attention anymore. I think it’s important to be comfortable with myself, but I’m not so “in your face sexy” now. A little mystery is good. With all of this hype about women being able to go topless, why would we want to? What’s ours is ours. That’s one of the wonderful things about being a woman. Mystery. That’s a power we have that no one else has. My body is mine. I’m not going to show myself to the world just because it’s now unacceptable and I’m rebelling. I want my partner to see all of me. Not everyone else. But this doesn’t at all stifle my sex appeal.

This is what I feel. Anyone can do what they want. I changed how I present myself because of age and my own personal evolution, and I’m happy with that. I guess I can see through some people and their self-exposure, and see it as a cry for attention. For others it’s not. It’s all different. But just remember this: I feel that being a woman is a gift. We need to respect ourselves and teach others that we deserve respect too. “Hey baby, nice ass,” is NOT acceptable. Be sexy, be confident. But keep that mystery. Show a little, but not too much. Be a woman and enjoy the privilege. There’s nothing else quite like it

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